A Capital Idea

Below is my column for the November, 2012 issue of the Sturbridge Times Magazine.   


Ah autumn in Nova Anglia.  It’s election time as presidential and congressional candidates tell us how they love us and wish to serve us, but not here.  No, they want to go to D.C. because life is good.

Washington is America’s richest city.  The capital and adjacent metro region beat out even Silicon Valley.   That should not be.  Silicon Valley is where the research is done for all the gadgets we cherish.  Washington only produces laws, lots of them.

Why should “crafting” legislation be such a big problem?  Because, they never stop.  According to the Wall Street Journal in 2011, there are so many laws, no one has any idea what the count is.  Ronald Gainer had the task at Justice to get the number.  He said, "You will have died and resurrected three times," and still not have the total.

So is this a problem?  In a democracy, certainly.  Don’t take my word for it.  The Roman orator, Tacitus, put it elegantly,

Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges

Roughly translated, it means a corrupt state has many laws.  It is understandable that a country with the oldest operating constitution will have passed innumerable bills.  That the actual number cannot be known is a scandal.


So what can be done to stop or at least arrest the pace of legislation? Fortunately, my fellow citizens, I’ve done the research and have come up with a solution.

 Several decades ago, upon separation from the serious work of defending my country, I embarked upon a trip across country with a friend in late spring.  We visited all the comrades who frivolously invited me to stop by once I got out.  Lacking the money to stay at motels when not sponging, we camped.  It was for the most part not unpleasant.

Then we came to Wyoming.  I have not spent a worse night. Getting up in the morning was hell.  We would have to leave the cold of the sleeping bags to dress and then go wash.  The late June day did warm up to just below tolerable. The Rockies had their own beauty but it was stark and bleak. Riding through was interesting to see but not enough to linger and there was no way a second night was going to be spent. 



My friends, the above-mentioned experience has moved me to propose to the nation that the capital must be moved to Wyoming.  The current seat of government is too nice. Our legislators need a harsh climate so few of them will wish to serve and those who do serve will not want to stay as long and pass laws.

Life will not be easy for publicity seeking solons up in the Cowboy State.  It is one thing to want to speak to the media and get face time when you are in a lovely tailored suit with perfectly coiffed hair.  Quite another when you are wearing a parka and a hat with ear flaps and your usually mellifluous voice is muffled because of the scarf covering your mouth.

It will be a more curmudgeonly type who seeks office under those conditions, and thus, more honest of speech.  Think about it, perky little Caitlin the correspondent asks Jake the retired math teacher with a face for radio but not the voice about the new education bill.  Jake gives the truth, "Listen girly, I'm not for giving one cent to the schools.  In my forty-five years in the classroom, I had about ten kids capable of doing real math, most of the rest wanted to sleep through class.  The school department mandated that I give the majority Cs when most of them deserved Ds."  She then asks, "Jake, don't you think your constituents will be offended by your comments." Jake, "If they don't like what I say, let ‘em vote for someone else. The food here is terrible, it's cold and I get stupid questions from reporters."



And speaking of cute little reporterettes and smooth, serious reporters, we would have less of them.  Duty in the new national capital would not be looked upon as the pinnacle of a career, but as punishment.  "Sorry folks, we won't be bringing you handsome, suave Brett up at the Senate building as he is too hungover again.  We do have some film from Lichtenstein History Month being celebrated at the Lichtenstein-American Community Center.”  Poor little Brett and Caitlin would be forever campaigning to be sent anywhere else other than, maybe, Pyongyang.

Now, I understand just physically moving the seat of government is not enough.  There will have to be limitations.  Generally speaking, I am not in favor of eminent domain, but in this case there is reason for an exception.  We find a town with a high school gym large enough to seat on those uncomfortable benches the House of Representatives.  The auditorium must be just big enough to accommodate the Senate. No more great architecture to inspire their imperial dreams.  If there is a medium size bank in town, that can serve as the President's office. A local district court should be all that is necessary for the Supremes (unfortunately, I don't mean the three chanteuses). 



Housing and building regulations will have to be strict.  We can have no vast mansions.  No, we shall build our masters what we do for the aging citizens of this republic.  They can live in senior citizen style housing equivalent to that which they subsidize across the country.  It will be Spartan, but if it is good enough for Grandma, it's good enough for John Boehner and Nancy Pelosi.  Anyway, they won't be spending much time there.  The most oft spoken word in our new capital will be adjournment. 



One other benefit to the big move will be we get to give back the District of Columbia to Virginia and Maryland.  Not that they might want it.  No more Marion Barrys.  No large federal metropolis to be supported by the rest of the country.  The Washington Post Style section with nothing to report.  Georgetown a ghost town. 



All right, I know my reverie can never come to pass.  I know that it is too much to hope that that place that started out as a swamp could return to being a swamp.  Well, I guess in a way it has always been a swamp.

Chinua Achebe’s memoir of war

This review was first published in the December, 2012 issue of the Sturbridge Times Magazine 

There Was A Country A Personal History Of Biafra

By Chinua Achebe

The Penguin Press, 2012

Hardcover, 258 pages

ISBN 978-1-59420-482-1

List: $27.95 Amazon: $16.63

In the late 1960s, for a very short span, there was an episode that gripped much of the world’s conscience.  A small bit of land holding millions of people was surrounded.  The populace was being starved to death.  By early 1970 the war that precipitated the catastrophe was all over.  Without any orders from an Orwellian ministry, for most of the world the struggle was consigned to the “Memory Hole.”

If one should ask today who remembers Biafra, it is doubtful one in ten living during the period could answer affirmatively.  Probably no one born after 1970 has ever heard of it.

I am part of the first TV generation and yield to no one in shortness of attention span.  Yet the war between the secessionist state of Biafra and Nigeria is etched in my mind.  How is it that an average American thinks often about what is now an obscure moment in time?

When the events in question were happening, I was a college student.  Well, in truth, not much of one.  I did my best not to over exert myself, but had a weakness for a good lecturer.  Justin Vojtek, professor of history, was an artist and in spite of the required effort I would be in his class.

The course would be a departure from the regular curriculum.  Colleges were beginning to take up African history.  The assigned reading included four novels by a man from the eastern region of Nigeria, Chinua Achebe.  He would be intimately involved in the events of the war.

Achebe was an Igbo.  Of all the various ethnic groups the British met as they patched together Nigeria, the Igbo were the most enthusiastic about taking up what the colonial regime offered.  This does not mean they forgot who and what they were, but they were changed by the experience.  The assigned novels reflected that change and its impact on his people.

Two of the novels, Things Fall Apart and Arrow of God concern themselves with how two important men are done in by geopolitical forces they do not understand.   Ezeulu is a priest in the traditional religion, an arrow of god.  He is steadfast in his service to his deity.  His interaction with the colonial administration upsets the schedule that will signal the harvest.  Despite his faithfulness, the people turn to Christianity, as it will offer a dispensation.

Things Fall Apart is the story of a strong man also done in by the arrival of the English.  Okonkwo is a man of status among his people.  He wishes to face the colonialists fairly and with honor.  The cold machine that is the new regime does not understand him and his people.  His dignity taken, he ends his life.

The third novel is the story of a young man of promise, Obi, who has obtained a smart university education and yet that does not prepare him for all the perils of the greater world.  Nor is he able to escape the problems of the old as he falls in love with an Osu or outcaste women.

The last book of the assigned quartet, A Man of the People, may be his most known work.  This is because of his famous “prediction” of the first coup d’état.  The book chronicles the corruption that led to the military takeover.  It did not foresee the breakup of the country.

There Was A Country is not only the story of Biafra, as one cannot tell that tale without consideration of all that preceded it.  He describes the colonial regime and the Igbo’s enthusiasm for learning and achievement.  Also, the independence struggle and his people’s part in it are chronicled.  The leadership of the men of his ethnic group was integral, if not the sine qua non.

Unfortunately, the Igbo success in the independence movement as well as business, education and the arts bred resentment.  The envy of the other ethnic groups led to pogroms and an exodus of his people from non–Igbo regions.  Achebe documents the resulting decline in relations leading to the declaration of a Biafran republic,

“And the war came,” as Lincoln put it in his second inaugural.  Whether or not he intended it, Achebe’s account has the flavor of horrible inevitability.  With international collusion, Nigeria had overwhelming force.  They surrounded Biafra and squeezed it to the end.  Yet, despite bombardment and blockade and starvation, the Igbo built a republic that functioned as complete state until the surrender.

Poignant is Achebe’s account of the life and death of Christopher Okigbo.  An accomplished poet, among other qualities, he set up a publishing house with Achebe.  When the war started, he enlisted and yet continued to work with the publishing business when time and duty permitted.  Made a major, Okigbo was always in the thick of battle.  Though not a callow youth when killed, neither was he an old man.  Still, Yeat’s line about the death of a young friend comes to mind, “What made us dream he could comb grey hair?”

The war ended, but the suffering continued for a time.  Eventually, the author rejoined the political process to no great success.  The final part of the book outlines the situation as it is.

As a reader, the conclusion I draw is my own.  The suppression of Biafra was one of the great crimes of the last century and that is saying something.  Nigeria and Africa are mired in corruption and the plethora of resources makes it worse.  Maybe the Igbo would not have made Port Harcourt a banking center or another Singapore.  Certainly, they would have managed the oil wealth more efficiently and with less corruption than the Nigerian state does now, to the benefit of the whole continent.

Achebe is a fine stylist and his treatment of the subject matter is valuable, yet I suspect this book will be soon forgotten by an incurious public.

.

A scholar's take on Haiti's painful history

This review was first published in the March, 2012 issue of the Sturbridge Times Magazine.

Haiti The Aftershocks of History

By Laurent Dubois

Metropolitan Books Henry Holt and Company, 2012

Hardcover, 370 pages

ISBN-13: 978-0-8050-9335-3

List: $32.00 Amazon: $18.88

It would be one of the greatest acts of moral vandalism in history. A man who had defeated the Ancien Regime in the service of the French Republic and held a territory in its name would die of betrayal by the new regime in a mountain fortress.  In real terms he had betrayed the state, as he was governing in the interests of the people.  Rare as that is in a statesman.

              I saw the picture of that man in a resplendent uniform with coal black face on a library bookshelf as a boy.  It was the cover art that fascinated me and led me to the reading of Toussaint Louverture’s biography.  The book was part of a series meant for young students.  It was the compelling story of a slave who started a nation.  That nation’s history has always been as compelling.  Some would call it tragic or even comic, but there have been instances of triumph and glory.

              Laurent Dubois has retold the story in his book, Haiti The Aftershocks of History.  There are more romantic books on Haiti. The Serpent and the Rainbow comes to mind with its alternative pharmacology and rural societal persistence.  Kenneth Roberts’ novel, Lydia Bailey, has an account of the battle of Crête-à-Pierrot that is as inspiring as his description of General Dessalines is menacing.  Even Black Bagdad, by the occupying Marine officer, John H. Craige, is a romance of sorts.   Of course, a book with the title, Best Nightmare on Earth can only be about a place of chaos and fun.

             Yet such books are each only a small part of the story.  All too many of my fellow citizens only know of Haiti as the place where the earthquake took place.  One would suspect that fewer than one in a thousand realize that the country is our oldest sister republic in the new world.  The great value in Mr. Dubois’ book is that all the players and actions are there in one volume.  The book is not written in a sensationalist style.  In listening to his interviews on radio, I thought it would be.  Even so, it goes along smoothly, not that he does not show his sympathies.  Obviously, he feels Haiti has been done hard by.  Any observer would find it difficult to avoid that conclusion.

               Laurent Dubois is not new to the subject.  A previous book, Avengers of the New World is a history of the Haitian Revolution. He has written other books about the country.  His official positions include Marcelo Lotti Professor in Romance Studies and History and Director of the Center for French and Francophone Studies at Duke University.  He occasionally dabbles in other subjects.  Well, more than dabbles.

               Villains abound.  First up are the French.  On the island of Saint-Domingue, the Gauls set up the most profitable plantation system in the Western Hemisphere, if not the world.  They ran it on the backs of Africans, worked so that more had to be constantly imported.  Cost control was such that the slaves not only had to toil in the fields for the planter, they had to grow their own food as well.

               When the French Revolution broke out, the slaves took the opportunity to end their bondage in alliance with the Republicans.  When Napoleon took power he tried to reinstitute slavery.  After a valiant resistance, the Haitians merely waited until Nap’s army was debilitated and gave it a push and secured their nation.

               France was not done.  Having lost the war, they demanded an indemnity.  Talk about bad taste.  Whatever happened to vae victis?  Hungry for recognition, Haiti gave in.

               Other European powers leaned on Haiti.  Germany was stalwart in applying force to get her way.  It appears our sister republic could not count on appealing for enforcement of the Monroe Doctrine.

               Uncle Sam’s hands are not clean.  Recognition was refused until the Civil War.  We were slow to the game, but played hardball when we got up to bat.  In 1914, a warship sent a detachment ashore to seize gold from the Haitian National Bank.  American bankers who had made bad loans had the US Government enforce their contracts in the grand tradition of privatizing profits and socializing losses.  Then, Marines would occupy the country.  We left eventually, achieving little as we usually do in our occupations.

               After Duvalier fils’ exile and some sub par elections, we came back to make Haiti a better place in 1994, again.  We brought some other do gooder nations with us.  With all the help the US and the international community had provided, the last thing the country needed was an earthquake.

               Haitian governments could meet the definition of a failed state, what with almost a constitution du jour with each new chief executive.  That does not mean a failed nation.  The Haitian peasant held onto the land won from the French with tenacity unrivalled in history.  The country folks on their smallholdings fed themselves and exported coffee.  Even the vastly powerful United States left after the Haitians tired of us earlier in the 20th Century.

               Mr. Dubois is a fine writer.  Aftershocks was difficult to put down. His book is a history and not a polemic.  Still, it is hard for a reader to avoid a conclusion.  Intervention well meaning or exploitive is colonialism.  The world should leave Haiti to its own devices.

               They may not build a tourism industry, but why would they want to be our playground?  Les Haïtiens may not split the atom any time soon, but neither will the hotshots at the Kennedy School of Government.  The message to bankers should be, take your chances and don’t expect a bailout.  Maybe we should have said that to Morgan and Goldman in 2008.

               Let Haiti be Haiti.

A Sunday trek to Howard's Drive-In

Below is my review of the West Brookfield institution, Howard's.  With one tweak, it is as it appeared in the August issue of the Sturbridge Times Magazine.

Summer in West Brookfield means Howard’s Drive-In.    It is possible that there is someone in town that has never participated in the seasonal ritual of al fresco dining, but it is hard to avoid.  Not that one would want to.  The true townie element, if they played sports as kids, celebrated victory or consoled defeat at Howard’s.  Mom and dad tagged along and even if not natives, usually became hooked. 

Another aspect of Howard’s charm is the time machine quality.  There may not be waitresses on roller skates as in the fifties, but Howard’s appears to have changed little.  Since I’ve been a West Brookfield resident, there has been no major alteration.  Oh, the menu has been tweaked and there is a tent out back, but in front, if there has been any perceptible difference, it has escaped me.  We all need a little constancy somewhere in life.

Still, as magical as that Norman Rockwell American nostalgia experience is, it can’t be enough.  What is on the bill of fare must satisfy the inner man and woman.  The quaintness can only work its magic for so long.

Fortunately, Howard’s does have what it takes.  Where it shines is Massachusetts soul food, clams.  Being from near the coast of the Bay State, I thought moving inland away from the land of the clam shack would leave me desolate.  The fried clams at Howard’s are as good as anywhere else.  If you are on a budget, the fritters will do.  If fried food is not for you, steamers are available.

All the other seafood is worth it and the servings are more than ample.  The Captain, as the fisherman’s platter is called is large and will suffice for two people with moderate appetites.  The Junior version will satisfy one.  Everything on the Captain can be ordered on it’s own.  Lobster is on order as a plate or roll.

The menu is not limited to what the ocean yields.  Steak, burgers chicken and even a veggie burger are on tap.  There is a generous selection of appetizers from potato skins to deep fried mushrooms.  Granted, a menu with such a variety will not be in the Michelin guide, but one can leave full and happy.

Then there is dessert, specifically ice cream.  There are lots of flavors.  To moi that is irrelevant as my choice is monster cookie dough.  My daughter would die for peanut butter Iditarod, but she is not full grown.  Hard and soft ice cream as well as frappes, sundaes and flurries are all there.  

It all seems to run smoothly, and customers get to see little of what it takes to keep Howard’s on track.  The man behind that is Mark Adams.  Mark is West Brookfield born and bred, and has lived in town his whole life. 

So why is Mark running Howard’s and not Howard?  Howard and his brother opened their drive-in in early post-war1947.  They would be ancient if they were still at the helm.  Mark purchased it from local entrepreneur, Melvin Dorman in 1980.  As venerable as Howard’s looks, it was demolished and rebuilt in 1985.

The building may not be original, but it is hard to think the business operation has changed appreciably.  Mark said that now and again he’ll add or drop something.  Why change a winning formula?

Mark is at Howard’s most every day during the season at 7:00 a.m.  When you meet him at that time of day, he is attending to details before the 11:00 a.m. opening.  It is a long and busy season.  He agrees, he must like it well enough or he would not keep at it.  It is many hours, but when it closes in autumn, no hours.  So, it averages out to the same as year round work. 

For us denizens of West Brookfield, season’s end always comes too soon, and opening day, never soon enough.

Dark Progress, Kurt Vonnegut and Technology

The book review below appeared in the November, 2012 issue of the Sturbridge Times Magazine. I was prompted to write it after viewing a TED talk that made clear the insight of Kurt Vonnegut.

Player Piano

By Kurt Vonnegut

Dial Press, 2006

Originally Published 1952

Paperback, 341 pages

ISBN 0-385-33378-1

List: $15.00 Amazon: $10.20

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow

Shining at the end of ev'ryday

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow

And tomorrow's just a dream away

The quotation above is the first verse of the theme for Walt Disney’s attraction “Carousel of Progress.”  Carousel of Progress premiered at the 1964 New York World’s Fair where I saw it.  I next viewed it about 17 years ago at Walt Disney World.  It captivated my then three-year-old daughter who demanded to see it many times.

Carousel of Progress captures part of the American spirit first noticed by Alexis De Tocqueville in the 19^th Century.  Progress was and would be a constant feature, if not defining characteristic of our nation.  Certainly, my baby boomer generation thought that way, at least until the Viet Nam War. It is also true that materially life has only gotten better.  What could go wrong?

Everything.  At least Kurt Vonnegut thought so.  Kurt Vonnegut was an American novelist of the last century who lingered on into this.  Not the least of his formative experiences was being captured at the Battle of the Bulge during World War II and living through the firebombing of Dresden.  Dresden was arguably as horrible as Hiroshima.  There is lingering controversy as to whether or not the raid was at all necessary.  Vonnegut did not believe it anything other than an atrocity.  In what is his most famous book, Slaughterhouse Five, he recounts his work recovering bodies.  The main character, Billy Pilgrim, becomes “unstuck in time” and is taken to the planet Tralfamadore.  Time and space travel are among the reasons Vonnegut was considered a “Science Fiction” writer.

Player Piano, his first novel, can’t be thought of as science fiction.  It is more the result of an acute sense of observation.  Vonnegut saw a technological advance.  He reasoned that more improvements would occur and compound.  The result would be a change in the status of man versus machine not to the advantage of our species.

In 1949, while working at General Electric, Vonnegut saw the future.  Machinists were expensively doing the milling of parts for jet engines.  A computer operated milling machine was built and took over from the skilled workers.  The men who developed the new equipment exulted about all the machines that could be “run by little boxes.”  The author agreed, but was not optimistic about what it meant for society.

Has constant technological improvement been a benefit?  Depends on whom you ask.  Cheerleaders are happy to point out that even with dislocation, there is a net increase in employment and standards of living after every advance.  Generally, an artisan craft is eliminated and lower skilled work expands.  Textile mills wiped out weavers, as a class.  Their higher paid employment was taken over by machines with lower wage armies replacing them to labor at work that took less if any skill.   Consumers got more, if not better goods at cheaper prices. To the weaver, this was no improvement.  Protests and sabotage happened but as it was only a minority harmed at any one time, they were not all that effective.  It was such that the term “luddite” is considered an insult by most.

This has been seen in many industries as technology changes a society, from the beginnings of agriculture to the computer.  What Vonnegut saw was the end of productive employment for most if not all of humanity. 

If the computer could do machining, what could it not do?  In Player Piano, all factory work is gone and even higher-level skills get eliminated as soon as machinery and programming is perfected.  A small elite controls everything.

Needless to say, class conflict is a problem.  What to do with all the superfluous workers?  In the novel the government employs them in a grand make-work scheme called the Reconstruction and Reclamation Corps. It is known by the slang name as the Reeks and Wrecks.

The army also absorbs a significant portion of the idle manpower.  Class conflicts are obvious as they are not trusted with weapons until overseas. 

Alas, when people have no feeling of being needed, as in Player Piano, there can be nothing but class resentments.  A revolution is attempted, but the masses do not really know what they want and it collapses.

So how does Player Piano hold up today?  Actually, the flavor is antiquated.  It’s as if the culture of the 50s did not end even though the society was turned on its head.  Dad goes out to work on Reeks and Wrecks and comes home to dinner with mom and the kids and then the family watches TV.  A woman’s place is in the home, other than maybe as a secretary.  The idealized domesticity of mid-century never stopped.

Vonnegut did not predict the digital revolution.  All the techno programming is done on magnetic tape.  This is understandable in the early 50s.  Had anyone predicted even the 8-Track revolution back then, he could be considered no less than a prophet.

So why should Player Piano resonate today?  The author may have missed the science, but as to the progress of technology, he was dead on.  Machines advance daily in areas previously the province of the human.  

Some improvements are devoutly to be wished and bring benefits many of us have experienced.  Robotic surgery is getting better all the time.  It will not be long before it is completely autonomous.  I assure you, we all want more precise, ergo less painful and invasive operations.

The bad news is good-bye jobs.  You may have heard that that JC Penney will be eliminating checkout clerks in it stores.  This is driven by the chain’s struggle to be profitable.  If the people versus machine question comes down to corporate viability, we lose.

Automated checkout is the visible aspect of job destruction.  Trades we might think safe are on the chopping block.

There is, on the web, a series of videos by speakers on their area of expertise called TED Talks.  TED stands for “bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design.” Some of the orations are brilliant and in others, at least all the words are pronounced correctly. 

One all too interesting talk, posted in September is by a Mr. Andrew McAfee. McAfee is principal research scientist at the Center for Digital Business, MIT Sloan School of Management.  His resume is hardly limited to that job.  He has been studying tech for a long time.

In his talk, there are two quotes that stand out.  First, “Just in the past couple years, we've seen digital tools display skills and abilities that … eat deeply into what we human beings do for a living.”  Second, “Within [our lifetimes], we're going to transition into an economy that … doesn't need a lot of human workers. Managing that transition is going to be the greatest challenge that our society faces.”  They should change his title to the Kurt Vonnegut Professor of Human Redundancy.

If those quotes don’t scare you, this one should.  The first decade of the 21^st Century “is the only time we have on record where there were fewer people working at the end of the decade then at the beginning.”  Andy is telling us the great job destruction has already started.  Next big quote, “We ain’t seen nothing yet.”

So okay, tech can’t do everything.  You might say over the road truck drivers are safe.  McAfee got to ride in the Google autonomous Prius.  The driverless car worked flawlessly on the highway.  Andy does not see it a long time from the Prius to the Mack Truck.  Maybe the young fellow thinking of driving the big rigs should contemplate another trade, but what?

After his scary discussion how jobs are toast, he ends with a mealy mouthed pronouncement how humans will be freed up to use our creativity to solve our problems.  Moi, I think trends that already exist will continue.

Like Vonnegut’s dystopia, we will move towards more made work.  Some of it might be continuous fixing of bridges and roads as in Reeks and Wrecks.  The bigger model is the wars we are now pretending to fight.  The War on Drugs will continue and expand.  A nation that is half drug users and half drug fighters sops up a large number of unemployed.  The War on Terror can do the same, fighting opponents real and imagined.  Does not the nation cry out for the TSA keeping kids safe as they get on the school bus?

I have not yet mentioned the most disturbing point made by Mr. McAfee.  Andrew noted an algorithmically generated piece published in the Wall Street Journal that he called "perfect."  Now, it was perfect in the sense that there were no mistakes.  It could not be called stylistically excellent.  H.L. Mencken does not fear from the grave for his reputation.  Still, where this is going is obvious.  I am sure the editor of this publication is thinking about the progress of that algorithm with every article I file.

To view Mr. McAfee’s talk, go to http://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_mcafee_are_droids_taking_our_jobs.html

Let's Get Syrious

Below is my column as published in the April, 2012 issue of the Stubridge Times Magazine.

The late Boston talk show personality, Larry Glick, had a tag line he would say on his overnight show, “We’re going to get the story behind the story.”  One might think it the essence of journalism.  Not in planet America.

Bashir Assad is the newest bogeyman in the Middle East.  This is not to say he just arrived.  He and his dad before him have ruled Syria for decades.  It is that we are just getting around to noticing him.  

         He is not a nice guy.  In the Middle East that’s how it is.  Mr. Nice Guy lasts about a nano-second.  There is a saying in that neck of the woods that says it all, “You must kiss the hand you cannot bite.”  The question is, so what happens when he goes? It is not being asked.  Anyway, who cares? I doubt La Hilary has a clue. She didn’t with Libya.  Après le dénouement is not addressed in all the news coverage.

         In fact the coverage, such as I've heard, is laughably superficial. The Middle East is a tough neighborhood with fault lines Americans can hardly imagine.  National Public Radio, Fox, CNN and any other outlet that proffers radio news have been vapid.

         Now, let me be a bit superficial myself. Not an expert on Syria, but here goes. You got your Sunnis including Sufis. They are not in power, but want it. Suffice it to say, as is presented to American audiences, Sunnis are the garden variety Muslims who are not Shia.  I wasn’t kidding about superficial.

         Next are Alawites. The president is one and they are the power. They have reason to fight to the bitter end, because if they lose, the end will be bitter. Existence for the sect has been precarious, as it always has been for minority confessions in the region.

         The Alawites are a mysterious group.  They have survived by being out of the way, up in the hills.  Under the Sunni Ottoman regime, they were oppressed. After World War I, under the French mandate in Syria, they saw their opportunity and joined the colonial military.  The Long Hill Institute for the Study of Middle-Eastern Politics, our official think tank, has come up with a law of existence for the region.  That law, briefly stated is, Always be as armed as you can if you want to survive.

         The sect is considered syncretic, that is, they have bits and pieces from other faiths.  It is said they see Plato and Socrates as well as Christ and Mohammed as incarnations of God.  They don’t really talk about it all that much and officially claim to be Shia.

         Then come the Christians. They are somewhat with the Alawites as their fat would be in the fire if the Alawites were done in.  Don’t think so?  When we brought good government and nirvana to Iraq, the Christians had to flee for their lives next door to bad old secular Syria.

         There are also your Druze, Yazidis, Shias and some others. Get ya scorecard! Ya can't tell the players without a scorecard!

         Of course, the press is painting the opposition as the spawn of Gandhi and Mother Teresa.  In our last adventure, Libya, the rebels were portrayed as freedom fighters against a horrible regime.  What did the Jeffersonians do to the dictator when he came into their power?  Why of course, they gave him a fair trial.  Well, no.  He was savagely dispatched with a video of it on youtube.  

         There has been an ongoing oppression by a heavy-handed regime a bit further south.  The Shia in Bahrain have been subject to brutality by the Sunni minority. Bahraini protests have been going on for a lot longer than the flare up in Syria, yet the ruling family is getting a pass.  Gee, why is that?  Two words, docking rights.  Yeah, the US Navy gets a warm official welcome.  Can’t let ethics stand in the way.

         So what do we get out of this? Dunno. Are there hydrocarbons? Are the Israelis and Iranians in play?   Given our national predilection for quagmires, not much good can be expected from this quick sand.

         We’ll end by quoting another dead guy.  The late Social Democrat John Roche related an Irish saying that one should never get involved in the religious wars of churches to which one did not belong. Don't know much about Paddy Proverbs but this one sounds reasonable.  Let’s act out of character and leave Syria alone.

The Café at Five Loaves Bakery

The review below was originally published in the Sturbridge Times Magazine, December, 2011 issue.

The Café at Five Loaves Bakery

It is only by accident that I know of the Café at Five Loaves Bakery.  If it had not been for a gift certificate from Spencerians, it would still be unknown to me.  What is even more startling is that is has been in existence for five years. 

The Bakery itself has been around for nine years and has a table at the West Brookfield Farmers Market.  Tragic as the end of the market season was, it forced me to turn off Main Street/Route 9 in the center of Spencer to find the bakery and its lovely breads and pastries.

Mechanic Street is not a picturesque side road.  Some of the buildings do look like a rehab is in order.  Others have been kept up, but age is apparent.  Nothing about the street would give one to expect much. 

The shop itself is pleasant inside.  The front consists of a counter and dining room.   It was not an ultra modern space that you might see on a cooking channel venue.  As it was mid-morning when we came, it was a minute before it dawned on us that there was more to Five Loaves than Five Loaves.  We grabbed some apricot pinwheels and an almond cream croissant, and left planning to return for a dinner.

A shock was in store for us.  On a Wednesday night, three of us walked in expecting to be seated immediately.  The dining room was full and the night was booked solid.  This in Spencer?  It was unexpected to say the least.  We were advised politely to make a reservation.  A full house augurs well and we took the hint.

The next Wednesday saw us happily seated with our enthusiastic waiter asking us if it was our first time as he brought us bread and whipped butter.  He said we were in for a treat and was telling the truth.  He patiently went over the appetizers and entrées we inquired about.  As the menu is new every week, the idea of “specials” is superfluous.  We knew what we each wanted.

For an appetizer, or “small plates” as they are termed on the menu, our daughter, Bríd, ordered the duck rillettes.  It is duck in the consistency of pâté with a fig jam on the side as well as slightly spicy mustard and caramelized onions.  It was to be spread on pieces of Five Loaves bread and was delicious.  How do I know?  Bríd has mentioned it wistfully several times since.

My wife Robin had the panzanella, a tomato and bread salad.  It also included artichokes and had a buttery flavor.

I had the ribollita, which is a Tuscan style bread and vegetable soup.  The wonderful Five Loaves bread absorbed the broth.  I could have stopped there and been happy.

But, I didn’t.  We all had entrees coming and were not budging.  Bríd had the Seafood Risotto.  She termed the risotto as a binder to hold together the generous amount of flavorful scallops, clams and shrimp.

My selection was the pan-seared salmon with citrus herb butter.  With it came a broccoli rabe.  Both were to my liking.

The crispy chicken in tomato butter sauce and asiago cheese with pasta was Robin’s choice.  A tasty and hearty dish for a cool night was her verdict.

For dessert, Bríd chose the rasqpberry linzer tart.  With its almond crust, it was more like a wonderful, rich cookie.

Robin ordered the pumpkin cheesecake.  She bakes a mean cheesecake herself, yet could only compliment the lightness and flavor of her dessert.

I had the lemon cloud, which looked like a pale version of crème brûlée, but with rich lemon flavor.

The café and bakery are the project of Darren and Connie Collupy.  It started when Darren was laid off after having been a chef for 20 years.  He started baking in the home oven,  Rather than blow it out, the bakery moved out.  Connie had a career in the front end of restaurants, but Darren gave her bakery OJT.  Then came lunch on 13 Mechanic Street.  Two years ago, dinner was added.

One should not throw around superlatives lightly, but we found a gem.  I almost feel like a traitor to myself in reviewing The Café at Five Loaves Bakery.  If this place becomes too popular, reservations may need to be made months in advance.

This is a find.  Don’t come unless you have confidence in your own ability to choose a wine as it’s BYOB.  

Dinner is Wednesday through Saturday.  Whenever you come, it might be a good idea to make a reservation, but Wednesdays are the big night.  There is a three course special for $20.   The Bakery is open mornings and for lunch Tuesday through Saturday.  The phone number is (508) 885-3760.  The website is http://www.fiveloavesbakery.com/ 

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